15 Things No One Tells You About Wedding Planning
Planning a wedding can be one of the most rewarding experiences you’ll ever have, but it’s not without its challenges.
If you’re just getting started or you’ve already got the ball rolling and are ticking things off your handy wedding checklist, here are 15 things you may not have been told about yet…
- A casual wedding is just as much work as a formal one
‘Casual’ might sound like a breeze, but whatever your theme is, you still need to choose flowers, linens, decor, food and drink to suit.
Top tip: accept early on that you have a lot to do, then give yourself plenty of time to bring your plans together.
- It will be all you talk about
You might think you’re keeping the wedding chatter to a minimum, but don’t be surprised when people start rolling their eyes and glazing over as you bring out the photos of more cakes and flowers.
Top tip: Don’t feel guilty; this wedding is a huge event in your life, and you’re totally justified in being excited about it, but remember that your bridesmaids, mum, sisters, and everyone else have their own stuff going on, so don’t load every last bit of your planning onto them. Spread your excitement around, and remember to check in with their lives as well!
- A picture’s worth a thousand words
‘Classic’, ‘romantic’, ‘vintage’, what images just sprung to mind? We guarantee that everyone reading this pictured something different, and your suppliers will be the same. Words have different meanings to everyone, which can lead to really confusing results.
Top tip: Pictures, pictures, pictures. Whatever you’re discussing with your vendors, make sure they get your ideas just right by taking pictures, mood boards and colour swatches to your meetings with them.
- There will be tears
The pressure of planning a wedding can make even the most collected of us a little emotional, and there will be times that you suddenly find yourself overwhelmed and bawling. Maybe the shoes you wanted just don’t fit, or your mum and future mother-in-law both choosing the same colour dress, it might sound totally unreasonable, but could just tip you over the edge into emotionsville.
Top tip: Let it out and stop beating yourself up. We all need a good blub now and then, and it could be a sign you need to take a little break from planning.
- Happy-tears too!
Speaking of emotions, get ready to experience happy-crying like never before! It could be when you hear your first dance song on the radio, as your tasting cake samples, or when your mum sends you a picture of her dress and she just looks stunning, but it will happen.
Top tip: Enjoy it. Those happy emotions bubbling up show you just how perfect that thing is, so take it as a sign of reassurance that everything is as it should be.
- You’ll have forgotten to budget for something
Even the best planners forget things now and then, or find themselves drawn by something they’ve now just got to have.
Top tip: Build a little bit of leeway into your budget for any surprises or extras you discover along the way, so you don’t have to panic if anything unexpected pops up.
- Your fiance won’t care about things you thought they would
You might be expecting a lot of input from your fiance, but don’t be surprised if they’re totally disinterested in a lot of the things you’re obsessed with.
Top tip: Ask your fiance what gets them most excited about your wedding, and what they remember most from other weddings you’ve been to together. If their main interests are the music, the food and the entertainment, perhaps get them to focus on those bits of your day while you plan the flowers, transport and decor.
- Your fiance will care about things you never dreamed they would
Equally, your fiance might have really strong opinions on some things which had barely crossed your mind. Maybe they’ve got some really strong opinions on what a centrepiece or wedding favour should look like, or they need a 3-tier cake and nothing else will do. Whatever their new obsessions are, don’t be surprised when they suddenly pop out from nowhere!
Top tip: Embrace it! If this kind of decision-making is out of character, let it grow and nurture it as you start the next chapter of your lives together. If they do start getting carried away with opinions, ideas and decisions, divide up the main tasks so you both have decisions which you own and are empowered to make.
- Everyone will have an opinion
Mums, dads, siblings, friends, colleagues, random strangers in coffee shops… They may all mean well, but you’ll be astonished at how many uninvited opinions you receive once people know you’re planning a wedding.
Top tip: Politely remind any uninvited opinion-givers that it’s your day, and you’re doing it your way. Listen to your instincts and stick with your gut when making decisions, and let everyone else go do their own thing.
- We all have a little bridezilla within
It might only be a moment, but it happens to all of us. That little blip along the way where we cross over to the dark side and completely lose the plot. In that moment, the candy-floss pink princess carriage with 6 white ponies might sound like the best idea in the world and is absolutely exactly what you deserve, and everyone must know about it, right this second or else!
Top tip: It’s difficult to diagnose your own bridezilla moment, so prep your sister, mum or maid of honour to step up when you start losing it. As the most trusted members of your bridal party, they’re best-placed to tell you when you’re flying off the handle and need bring back down to earth with a bump.
- The best way to save your budget is by trimming your guest list
Sure, you can save a bit of cash by not having a formal dinner, or by making all your own decorations, but the biggest saving you can possibly make is by making cuts to your guest list. With fewer mouths to feed, you’ll save a tonne of cash, and mean you have more time to catch up with the guests who did make the cut.
Top tip: It can be difficult to trim your list down, so set out some clear criteria for your guest list and be brutal. If someone’s a maybe, switch them to a no or just invite them to the evening do.
- Dance lessons are not essential
By all means, take some lessons if you really want to, but your guests won’t be judging if you just have a slow-swaying-on-the-spot first dance.
Top tip: When you choose your song, go for something you both love and that gets you moving naturally. Don’t stress about what everyone else is thinking – they’re there to celebrate your love for each other, not how well you can twirl around a dancefloor.
- Sometimes one trial is not enough
Wedding hair and makeup trials are commonplace, and you might be expecting to show up with a photo and be magically transformed on the first try. Sometimes, however, it just doesn’t work out like that – in fact, that’s the whole point of having a trial – to get it right on the day!
Top tip: plan your first trial a couple of months ahead of your big day so you’ve got time to make changes and have another go before the big day.
- There is such a thing as too much cake
Food and cake tastings are among the best bits of wedding planning, but with so much to try, you can end up stuffed and struggling to remember what tasted of what!
Top tip: Schedule your tastings on different days so you can try everything fresh, enjoy every sample, and make an informed choice at the end.
- Enjoy your fittings
Most brides only wear their wedding dress once, on their wedding day, so enjoy every opportunity you have to be in your dress.
Top tip: Fittings are a great opportunity to try out aspects of hair, makeup and accessories, so take them along to each fitting. Don’t rush anything and make sure you don’t have anywhere else to run to immediately after your appointment, so you can really enjoy what will probably be the best dress you ever wear.